How to Decide Between an Elopement vs an Intimate Wedding

When you start planning a wedding day, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the language out there – elopement, intimate wedding, adventure wedding…what do these terms actually mean when it comes to planning your day? And how do you decide which one is right for you? You’re definitely not the only one wondering this. So many of my couples have the same question, and I always say this: “Part of planning your wedding day is about figuring out and choosing what feels right for you.”

Whether you’re drawn to a quiet, just-us moment in the woods or a laid-back weekend surrounded by your favorite people, there is a way to plan your wedding day that fits your vision (even if you aren’t quite sure what it looks like yet). And that’s what this blog post is here for. I’m walking you through the main differences between an elopement vs intimate wedding, not just in terms of size or logistics, but in the experience, energy, and priorities behind each one. My hope is that by the end of this post, you’ll have a better idea of which direction makes the most sense for your relationship, your vision, and your values.

What is an Elopement?

So, what is an elopement wedding exactly? At its core, it’s all about creating a deeply personal and meaningful wedding experience that’s centered on the two of you. It’s less about following traditions and more about doing what feels genuine. 

Sometimes, no one even knows it’s happening. Other times, elopements are quietly planned and shared with a small circle. Most of the elopements I photograph fall in that sweet spot of being intimate, loosely structured, and full of intentional time together.

What Does an Elopement Look Like in Real Life?

The beauty of elopements is that they can look any way you want! They can be adventurous and filled with activities, or they can be quiet and filled with simple but intentional moments. At the end of the day, no two elopements are alike, but here are a few examples of what an elopement can look like. 

Example Elopement #1

A quiet weekend tucked away in a forest setting. You kick off the celebration with a cozy bonfire at your Airbnb or campground. The next morning, you take a peaceful paddle across the lake in a kayak, followed by a short hike to a meadow where you exchange your vows. The day wraps up with a casual backyard BBQ dinner with a handful of your closest people.

Example Elopement #2

Or, maybe it’s just the two of you. A private vow exchange at sunrise, a slow breakfast, and a whole day filled with laughter, love, and celebrations with your love story at the center.

What Is an Intimate Wedding?

When people ask me what an intimate wedding is, I always say that it’s the best of both worlds! Intimate weddings are a beautiful mix of elopements and traditional weddings because they hold space for celebration while still feeling grounded and personal. Intimate weddings are not about putting on a big show. Rather, they’re about creating something that feels true to who you are, and sharing that with the people you love most.

Intimate weddings typically include 10-30 guests, though they can be larger (sometimes including around 50 guests). They often unfold over a weekend, giving everyone time to relax, connect, and celebrate with intentional, meaningful time together. Think beachside ceremonies, forest dinners, bonfires under the stars, or a chill Sunday brunch with your crew.

What Does an Intimate Wedding Look Like in Real Life?

Just like elopements, intimate weddings allow for so much flexibility, meaning they can look however you want! Maybe that means inviting 30 of your favorite people to a cozy Airbnb for a weekend. You hike together in the morning, say your vows at sunset on the beach, and celebrate around a fire with s’mores and stories under the stars. 

Of course, this is just one example of what an intimate wedding day can look like, and no matter what your day entails, the focus is on you and your community and connecting with your people in a place you love. 

What Makes It “Adventure”?

Whether it’s an elopement or an intimate wedding, adventure means crafting a day (or weekend) that reflects who you are and how you experience life together. For many of my couples that looks like incorporating nature in a meaningful way. For others it can simply mean letting go of rigid traditions and instead creating a personalized, outdoor-forward celebration. 

While many of the elopements and intimate weddings I photograph are considered adventure weddings, I want to be clear – adventure doesn’t mean scaling a mountain or planning a three-day backpacking trip (unless you want that)!

For example, adventure might look like:

• A short hike to your ceremony spot
• A group kayak paddle on the lake
• Stargazing by the fire
• A mountaintop picnic
• Renting a cabin or lodge surrounded by trees

What matters most is that the day is rooted in nature, intention, and the freedom to do things your way.

Elopement vs Intimate Wedding: How to Choose the Right Fit for Your Day

Still not sure whether an elopement vs intimate wedding is right for you? Here’s a tip. Planning your wedding is the perfect chance to have a little date night together – pop open a bottle of wine, play your favorite tunes + dream big about what actually lights you up. Or, grab a journal and brain dump all your wants + desires onto the page. Either way, here are a few questions you can ask yourself to decide:

Who do you want there with you?

• Just the two of you or a few loved ones → Elopement
• Friends, family, and chosen community → Intimate Wedding

How do you want to spend your day(s)?

• Prioritizing time together and meaningful experiences → Elopement
• Celebrating the most important things with the people you love → Intimate Wedding

Where do you want to go?

• Remote or cozy location just for two → Elopement
• Venue or Airbnb with space for guests → Intimate Wedding

Do you care about structure?

• Want to do your own thing, no rules → Elopement
• Want to blend traditions with freedom → Intimate Wedding

Do you value adventure?

• Both options can be adventure-filled. It just depends on how you want to share that adventure.
  

These questions will help you get a clearer idea of what you want your wedding day(s) to look and feel like. At the end of the day though, you don’t have to choose just one or the other! Want a big celebration with your favorite people and quiet, just-us moments to soak it all in? You can have both! Whether it’s a two-day experience (a celebration day + an intentional elopement-style adventure) or a split-day timeline that lets you ease into every moment, I offer options that make sure nothing gets sacrificed. Your day(s) can be as multifaceted and magical as you are!

Remember: It’s less about the label and more about the experience. Whether you call it an elopement or an intimate wedding, the most important thing is that your wedding day reflects you.

A Few Extra Things to Keep in Mind

Weather Flexibility

Whether you are planning an elopement or an intimate wedding, you will need to think about your setting. If you are including outdoor activities, consider how the time of year and weather will impact your plans. But don’t worry, that’s something I help all my couples with when we start planning together! 

Leave No Trace (LNT)

Adventure and nature-focused days come with responsibility. No matter which type of wedding day you plan, remember to follow the rules of Leave No Trace. These rules help ensure we take care of outdoor spaces and leave them beautiful for others to enjoy for years to come. 

Elopement vs Intimate Wedding: A Recap

Still Unsure Which Option is Right for You?

When it comes down to it, choosing between an elopement vs an intimate wedding is less about following a checklist and more about being intentional about your experience.

If you are craving a deep connection with just each other and a day that’s simple, soulful, and full of freedom, then you might be leaning toward an elopement.

But if your dream includes connection, quality time, and laughter echoing off the trees with your favorite people, then an intimate wedding might be the perfect fit.

Either way, you’re allowed to choose what feels most like you!

Still deciding between an elopement vs intimate wedding? I’d love to help you talk it through. Simply reach out by clicking the button below, and together, we’ll find the best fit for your wedding day!